My story...
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After suffering from my own existential crisis, I was motivated to study existentialism and its effects on our mental health before qualifying as a counselling therapist working the majority of my time online. Through my practice, I have developed a deeper understanding of the human experience and our need for connection with others, our search for meaning in life, the consequences of our decisions and the freedom to act on choices as well as the fear of time running out and not creating the legacy that makes our lives count before we die.
Despite the dynamics of my work shifting between individuals and couples, ultimately the existential givens are played out in sessions as the longing for connection is sought out, however, they feel unheard and that need goes unfulfilled. Explore my website more to learn about my work and how I might be able to support you. To work with me, send me an email or give me a call to arrange a free 30 minute introductory session.
What is existentialism?
Existential crisis appears in different ways and at different times in our lives, it certainly is not just a mid-life thing! Acting like an internal alarm, they tell us when we are straying too far away from our values, beliefs and needs. There are four ultimate concerns leading to an existential crisis: death anxiety, meaninglessness in life, how much freedom and choice we have, and loneliness. During a crisis, we might experience one or a combination of several fundamentals at one time.
The four fundamentals are the root of our crisis. Death anxiety speaks to the fear of missed opportunities, not hitting all the milestones you expect in life, such as home ownership, marriage and children. Loneliness describes the lack of connection we have, friends who are too busy with their children, falling between worlds as we don’t quite fit in, or inability to connect deeply with a partner. The struggle to find meaning in life can leave us feeling lost without motivation and without something to aim for, whilst the lack of freedom prompts us to assess how much or little autonomy we have over day to day decision making.
Throughout life, we experience existential crises, our first being teenage angst and rebellion as we start to figure out who we are and what we stand for and assess if this aligns with messages from family, friends and society. The rise in people experiencing the quarter-life crisis in their 20s and 30s has correlated with the expansion of social media and its dominance of daily life, acting as a measure of success. The later life crisis is generally rooted in looking back on our lives and thinking about the impact we’ve had and the legacy we will leave behind.
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How I work
How will we work together?
My work is focussed around the existential experience and how we can make sense of the gap created between what we need and what we are living with, as we slowly reassess our priorities and bring the various areas of our lives back into alignment with our core beliefs. If you are feeling stuck and don’t know where you are in life, perhaps you’ve lost your identity and can’t figure out who you are anymore, then it sounds like you are experiencing an existential crisis. To those around you, you may appear withdrawn, doubtful of your own abilities, shut down or ‘dead behind the eyes’.
Working together, we will unpick these feelings and the issues around them as they come up for you in your life. Unique to your daily experience, how you encounter existential angst and identity issues, we will work through the themes which are pertinent to your negative feelings and your attitudes towards opportunities in life and the not for growth thinking which hold you back. We will do all this in a safe environment where I will support you, listen to you sincerely and help you find a better way of being, which is in line with your core values and beliefs.
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